PresidentTrump parading down Pennsylvania Avenue with Baron in tow.

Like so many of us who can’t resist a good, slo-mo 2 million car pile up, I woke with the birds to turn on the TV to watch the circus come to town. Ringling Bros. may have cashed in last week having dispensed with the elephants, the unicorns and irritating clowns. I would have suggested that for those of you pining for the side show with Bearded Ladies, Pin-Headed children and Reptile boys just head over to Coney Island. If today is any indication we’ll need go no further than our TV’s to catch a glimpse of the 3-Ringed Side show.

Bits and pieces of the festivities from last night still ring in my ears for their incredible paucity of talent, enthusiasm and just 3rd rate quality. Historically, Inaugurations tend towards the grand with tons of ceremony, pomp and gravity. There were no signs of that last evening. Instead there were a few Country Western acts looking more like lost tourists carrying guitars instead of guide books. Trump looked lost sitting there ‘making some noise’ of gratitude. To coin one of Trump’s phrases, “It was sad, very SAD”.

Obama’s Inauguration on left. Trump’s on right.

This morning looked much the same only without the fortunate cover of darkness. When my mother attended the Inauguration of Obama, there wasn’t a spot on the mall to stand. They came down by bus from Massachusetts and the Mall was beyond jammed with celebrating hordes. Today, the Mall looked like part empty skating rink and part partially full parking lot. The weather wasn’t brutally cold and wet like the Inaugural of 2009, yet where was everybody? Side by side images taken of the Mall for Obama’s Inaugural next to Trump’s shows a Mall that is, well, pretty EMPTY.

Kellyann Conway, um…

The first signs that things were amiss was the appearance of Kellyann Conway in front of the Chapel where the Trump klan went to pray. In red, white and blue Gucci, Ms. Conway gave new meaning to the phrase WTF? I guess Baron Trump’s suggestion to wear one of his Ninja Turtle costumes didn’t resonate. Still, she should have taken the kid’s suggestion. Not to put too fine a point on these things but the press used the excuse that Conway’s regrettable choice of outfit cost $3600.00 somehow legitimizing it. Money legitimizes nothing. MONEY EXCUSES NOTHING.

The Obamas always gracious.

Obamas and Bidens very graciously welcomed the Trumps to the White
House for tea. With the cameras capturing every expression, every
gesture, they could not have been more warm or correct. Trump and his
wife shook hands and embraced the First couple as they entered. One
could see the effort the Obamas made to welcome them to their new home.
The Trumps for their part looked tense even frightened, as they should
be… Michelle was elegant and appropriate in a subdued burgundy coat
and dress. Melania looked fantastic in her pale blue cashmere Ralph
Lauren. Glamour she can do. Communicating, expressing an idea, writing or helping to write a speech, taking a
position on anything other than where to turn her head, which eye to
squint or which is better; leading with her left leg or perhaps with her
right, all of that remains to be seen.

Tiffany Trump

Tiffany looked like what
I’d expect; not much. An arctic white coat with a bad bleach job and
fringed black ankle boots is the perfect recipe for ridicule. Her road
in and out of this town is sure to be rutted and treacherous. She should
leave now as it’s only going to get so much uglier. The wives of the
sons, who look more like their stand-in Moms were each an ad for long
extensions. Dull clothing, dull eyes, and a marked lack of warmth
between them all spoke volumes. Donny, Jr. and Eric are just odd to
watch. Between their put on seriousness and their tendencies to gloat,
brag, lie and all while looking totally lost is just the apple not
falling far from the tree. Like Papa, like sons. The slicked back hair
is some Bryl-Creme
aberration they picked up from Dad or from looking too closely at their
Stephen Baldwin posters. Looks like they copy his facial expressions
too. So does the President…….

Ivanka and her brother Eric? Donald, Jr?….

Ivanka, God bless her,
tried to hit the ball out of the stadium with her all white confection
from our pre-school design team Laura Kim and her sidekick (the one who
can’t design a gerbil’s throw, BUT the one with Mama and Papa’s fat bank
account keeping their sodden MONSE collection listing in the shallows)
from Oscar de la Renta . Their break out moment came on the back of
Ivanka Trump in all of its asymmetry and confusion. The only thing clear
about the look was that it was white, the same white that Hillary
Clinton was wearing. Beyond that, it was no Ivanka Trump branded
outfit (even I can’t believe I said that)…… Somehow I don’t see the women in the audience racing to
Saks to pick up the look.

I guess he means business…

The side of the aisle
with all past presidents, Supreme Court Justices, etc had such a
downcast look. It was more funereal than celebratory, with the exception
of Paul Ryan and Judge Clarence Thomas who looked like he was at
someone else’s family reunion, you know, the semi-invited guest that no
one wants to speak to but nevertheless is just SO HAPPY to be there.

I guess we did…

‘entertainment’ featuring not-so-little-anymore Jackie Evancho with her
freakish, untrained and unlistenable (faux) operatic voice tentatively
sang the National Anthem, going for the big applause with an octave leap
on the last note. It was ill advised. She shouldn’t have. Her arctic white coat with some
stuff glued on the back of it and on the lapels didn’t help her patriotic cause. Nothing
helped, until I got up, turned off the TV and stood for a very long time
in the shower.

I still feel dirty.